Class 3Z Ginpachisensei
by Sakata no Ginshiro
Summary: This is the misadventures of Sakata Ginpachi-sensei and his riotous students in the school.


Disclaimer: Hideaki Sorachi made the uber-funny anime, Gintama.

Sakata no Ginshiro: This is the weirdest, most violent and the funniest fan fiction in Gintama that shook the whole world. It is all about the school life with Gin-san's alter-ego, Ginpachi Sakata and his students of Third Year Class Z. With all of the characters in Gintama roster are included on the story, I will create the humorous story in a chronologically order, that is creating a time table for them.

Just before the story, I would like to give Sakata-sensei a warm welcome.

(SnG gave Ginpachi a mike)

Ginpachi Sakata: Ah, are we ready? Then Third Year Class Z!

Third Year Class Z: GINPACHI-SENSEI! (Version 1.0)

_Chapter 1: The First Day of School… of nonsense._

_7:30 AM: **Attendance is a must... and must not**_

As the school bell tolls, Ginpachi Sakata-sensei enters the classroom with his class record and calls his pupils to see if they were here. As the name mentioned, they would probably say present. Needless to say, Sakata-sensei called Shinpachi's name.

"Shimura Shinpachi?"

"Present" Shinpachi replied.

"Kagura?"

"Present" Kagura said while eating a bento.

"Um, Miss Kagura, would you mind if you have to eat after the class."

"Of course, sir" she said while chomping her food.

"Okay next is Kondou Gori?"

"It's not Gori, it's Isao" Kondou said.

"Okay, Hijikata?"

Hijikata fell asleep.

"Hijikata?"

Again he felt asleep, probably of being a Tosshi. Then Gin-san clears his throat.

"Mayoramune Date"

Asleep again and grumbled as he woke up and shocked as he fell asleep during class.

"Are you having a dream about the Sengoku Mayora, Hijikata-san?"

"Oh yes when I battled Yuki."

(A/N: Sengoku Basara is actually the video game turned anime produced by CAPCOM. Speaking of Mayoramune Date, Kazuya Nakai did the voice of 'let's party' yelling character Masamune Date. I made his name Mayoramune Date for the sake of combining Date with Hijikata's obsession of mayonnaise, which it is really a fan-on character)

"Oh really…" as Ginpachi looked onto Hijikata's back, he saw some of the synopsis of the Sengoku Mayora and found out that he has a plastic centipede on the floor.

"Is this your pet" The teacher said while pointing the fake centipede.

"Is this..." When he look at the centipede, He shrieks out loud "WHAT IS THIS CENTIPEDE OVER THERE!"

When he look at his side, it was Sougo Okita who did the prank. Sougo giggled quietly until the teacher noticed while tapping his pen at his class record. He gave a frustrating smile.

"Oh if it is the Shinsengumi's malcontent: Okita Sougo."

"Present" Okita replied in a blank manner.

"Oh...go ahead and torture that mayonnaise guy over there."

Okita gave a 'yes' and gave a move against Hijikata as Mayora exclaimed even Ginpachi joined in his wacky tandem by using a bottle of Mayo that whacks up his head.

Ginpachi continued on checking their attendance and he saw the name Yamazaki.

"Jimmy Yamazaki"

"Eh...!"

To his discontent, Yamazaki correcting him by saying his real name.

"Um sir but my real anme is Yamazaki Sagaru, sir."

"I thought that you were Jimmy Carter or something."

(A/N: The President of the United States after Gerard Ford and Before Ronald Reagan. Also he is the one who advocate the Housing for the poor)

"It's Yamazaki Sagaru sir..." He said while his face were all gloom.

"Oh it's Jimmy-ni Cricket!" Ginpachi was astounded in calling his name while Yamazaki banged his head to his desk until it bleeds profusely.

(A/N: Jiminy Cricket is the cricket guardian of Pinocchio)

"SIR IT'S YAMAZAKI SAGARU, SIR!" Yamazaki yelled at him making his face blank as a nopperabo.

"Ah...OK. Settle down, Jimmy." Ginpachi-sensei agrees and calms him down while Yamazaki faces a thundering roar of nomenclatural disaster.

(A/N: Jimmy is anglicize form of 'jimi' means plain. That word did suit some of the straight but plain men, including Shinpachi Shimura and Sagaru Yamazaki.)

Ginpachi continued his attendance on Katsura.

"Uh Zura,"

"It's not Zura, It's Katsura." A young man with a long hair reacted as the teacher berated him about his hair.

"I don't want to be mean to you but cut your hair short."

"I don't wanna."

"The I would have to Zantetsuken your hair for you by Odin." The teacher suggested the pissed off Katsura.

(Odin is the recurring summon of the FF series with his trademark attack Zantetsuken)

"I SAID I DON'T WANNA!"

"Okay I would have to call Elizabeth for you to cut your hair for you. I don't know if you could arrange your hair like that." Ginpachi summons Elizabeth and s/he made his hair in a more elegant manner. After a while, Katsura's hair became like that of Tsukino Usagi.

(Tsukino Usagi is actually Sailor Moon)

"WTF!"

"See I told you."

Ginpachi continued his attendance as the name Hasegawa.

"Hasegawa?"

"Present, and I want to pursue more and more."

"good, next"

As he turn the page, he mentioned her name Shimura Tae who is at the near of Kondou.

"Shimura Tae,"

"Present."

While she was chatting with Oryou and Hanako, Kondou came to her with a chocolates and roses. What she gave to him in return was a sweet chin music on his face then a back-breaking camel clutch concludes his stalking process. When Ginpachi came to her, she did know that she was a psychic of sorts.

"If you were a psychic then, what will you predict his future" Ginpachi said while pointing at Kondou.

"Simple." Just as she use her psychic abilities, she predicts his predicament.

_"While I have my flute in my hand to stab in his butt. Kondou won't have a choice but to bang his head to the wall to came up his senses and he faints like an idiot. I will laugh like a psycho."_

(Author's Note: Isn't it remind you of Higurashi no naku koro ni where Furude Rika committed suicide at the front of Shion/Mion while laughing like a psycho?)

After a while when he finished his doing an attendance, Shinpachi asked Ginpachi about he did not mentioned Tama and Hedoro. Ginpachi open the attendance record and according to the record that they were at the list.

"Tama and Hedoro have the limited time to go to school. Tama will not go to class during quiz time and other periodical exams."

"Then what about Hedoro?"

"Hedoro needs the minimal days for his study. Being a Naturalist, he is concerned about the greenhouse plants he planted for."

Shinpachi and Kagura share a same but scathing thoughts.

_Shinpachi and Kagura's thoughts:_

_"I didn't know that Hedoro was really lucky. Because if he came here, it will be a one hell to Tartarus and the whole world goes KABOOM! The REAL bad news is if Tama's not here... we will not pass the exams at all!"_

As Ginpachi checked his records, he thought about his other students named Takasugi, Kijima, Kawakami, Takecha and Okada.

"Have you got any news of Takasugi?"

"I heard he was on our class, but then again since he got lost in his direction, I think he went to Sahara desert." Okita replied as Shinpachi and Yamazaki wondered.

"Huh, Sahara desert?" the two said.

"About Kijima?"

"Oh that dirty crotch didn't come to school without her underwear!" Kagura said while the others laughed heartily. Ginpachi shouted to be quiet.

"About Kawakami?"

"He has a composition to make for Otsuu-sama." Shinpachi said.

(Betcha didn't know that Shinpachi was the captain of the Otsuu Imperial Guard and Taka-chin as his deputy!)

"About Takecha?"

"Oh the pedo here, he got arrested for incest." Okita replied.

When everything was over, suddenly Okada came in with lots of blood from his clothes. With his bag, and his shades are intact, Ginpachi reacted in a deadpan manner.

"Oh, you were in a slaughterhouse right?"

"Yes sir. You are right."

Suddenly the army of the police cars came to the school and demanding Okada's arrest for murder. Ginpachi and his pupils raised their eyebrows in fury and kicked out Okada by force one by one especially Otae-san gave Okada a killer dark matter and ate it. When he ate the dark matter, he became purple as his life will go down under. Then the teacher gave a mug shot of him with his picture and he brought his king size of the weapon of mass destruction of all sorts: the Gigantic Justaway that has a size of an asteroid and tossed with Okada and BOOM! he fell to the ground and Okada screamed like he was going down to the pit and he got arrested with the help of the police.

"That's should take care of him." and he continued "That's the class for the day. You may dismiss."

While at the classroom, the eyes of his students were popped at their teacher who just went outside from the classroom and his students went out to go home. Shinpachi stands and he said:

"That was the first day of School that turn into... a dismissal disaster."

**Tsuzuku da yo!**

The first part of the Class 3-Z Ginpachi-sensei.

Part 2:

PE Time means something.

Read and review.


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